he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
