she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
jump out the window naked night went bad
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
