Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize