does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
be right there i have to get my cape
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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