I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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