Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
