I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
