think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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