Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
