Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
