I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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