having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
