first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
