im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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