i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
