Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
