Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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