I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
