I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
