My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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