Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
