can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
