The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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