When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
