porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
