I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
