Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
