if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
well you can't waste a boner
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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