dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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