it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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