that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
