I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
