Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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