Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
