are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
