just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
pray to the hookup gods
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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