Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
