I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
