I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
