dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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