my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
