Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
