The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
