I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
two words: eviction party
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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