some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
