watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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