i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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