then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize