Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
