he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
