fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
