Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
