i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
