it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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