You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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