Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think my tv is drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
