More tranny stories later!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize