I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
