my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
