I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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