i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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