i just wanna soil my oats bro
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize