I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Its about making memories worth repressing
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
