Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize