I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
