I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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