She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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