All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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