The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
